damn you for doing this to me

I told him I was falling in love and he said it back. He’s making me so nervous but I have to decide if I want to fall or not. Him saying it’s happening to him too doesn’t help. Well I guess it does, but in the back of my mind I think, do we really love each other or is it we’re both in a fucked situation and we just know that being together would make both our lives easier? Then I think of all the other guys I felt this way about because he wasn’t the first. I felt this way about another guy at the beginning of the year. In fact I wrote about him on here. His issue was his dependency on his parents and he was just way to eager to please me. I call guys like him puppies, because he just wants to follow you around and lick your feet. I’ve dated guys like him before and it never worked. Then there was a guy I really liked and we got to hook up but he wasn’t feeling me like that, he was a fuckboy. This really young guy tried to be with me too. He was another puppy, only he got me pregnant. He was upset I didn’t keep it but I didn’t want to be with him or have his kids. I felt bad but neither of us was in a position for that to work. Enter KLW, not a puppy but he did have fuckboy tendencies. The first time we hooked up I was hooked. I told him we should hook up again and he was down. We just vibed so well and it just seemed like we were meant to be with each other. When I list all my failed attempts at getting a boyfriend I realize I was pretty picky before I found this one. Maybe I really am falling in love. He said we’re the same person, that’s why we vibe so well. He is just all the things I want in a man, but the last time I had this feeling I got my feelings hurt bad. It took years to get over that one but I’m still not in a rush to get my heart broken again. I feel like when I see him we’re going to have a long talk about us. I just want to tell him I love him.

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